The only thing you need to know about me is that I’m committed to ridding the world of over-the-top douches. They’re kind-of like deer. Too many will overpopulate and disrupt the ecosystem.  Too few will also disrupt the ecosystem.  It’s all about balance.  



  1. Hey! You met me during guys night last Wednesday. I was the guy with the “not duchie” pick up lines :). Check out my list of douchie things chicks do on online dating cites….

    1. Any user name with the name of your state, city or college in it (surely there’s something unique about you that millions of others don’t share)
    2. Stating or implying anywhere in your profile that you would not normally do online dating, but….. (Your doing it now get over it. You’re a lonely soul just like the rest of us)
    3. Stating in your profile or heading that you do not know what to say here or the infamous, “insert witty headline here.” (Show some creativity)
    4. Picture of you sky diving (trying too hard to show your a wild and crazy risk taker)
    5. Picture of you covered in mud (same as above. For some reason this picture usually follows the sky diving picture. I wonder what Therapist Joe would say about this phenomenon?)
    6. Multiple pictures of you running a marathon (one is ok but let’s not over do it, we get it, whether you are or you are not, you want to appear fit)
    7. Any picture of you making kissy or duck lips (you are hiding what your real face looks like. And its just obnoxious)
    8. Saying your equally comfortable in heels on the town and at home watching a movie (and let me guess you like long walks on the beach and rainy nights…. Everyone says that!)
    9. Yoga photos (you are a flexible kinky little devil! I’m not complaining but it is cliche)
    10. Your cat. (Sorry but it is what it is…)
    11. 25 extreme close up face photos and not one body shot (I’m suspicious)

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