Lesson 3: Don’t Take Selfies…

…So Seriously!

photo-3

Ahhh Yesssssss, this is so much better than duck face!

Or better yet, just don’t take them at all, period.

I know, I know, that’s not very practical, given the, “Look at me, look how cool I am, look how awesome my life is while I’m taking this selfie” culture, so to remedy any potential confusion about how to NOT be a douchebag when taking a selfie, here is the cardinal selfie rule and lesson of the day:

Don’t take mirror pics!

Look how cool my jacket is! It's leather, btw.  Not sure if you noticed that or not. And you know, only really, really cool dudes wear leather. Nevermind that I bought this at H&M because I look super cool and tough.

Look how cool my jacket is! It’s leather, btw. Not sure if you noticed that or not. And you know, only really, really cool dudes wear leather. Nevermind that I bought this at H&M– I look super cool and tough. The girls won’t know the difference between me and Gosling.

If a girl is asks you to send them a picture, you have a few options that won’t leave you looking like this douche:

His face really does look like an angry bird

Hey girl.

1) Take a picture of something you’re doing.  She’ll stop asking for pictures and will start asking other questions like, Who are you with? What are you doing? Where is that?  The questions might be annoying but it saves you from looking like a douche. You don’t want that douchey picture floating around in the iphone cloud for God knows how long.

2) Take a selfie while making a weird face.

Thank you for not being douchebags

Thank you for not being douchebags

See? I know there are 3 people in this picture, so technically it’s not a selfie, but you get the idea.  See how they’re purposely looking ridiculous?  You will avoid looking like a douche if you purposely poke fun at yourself for taking a selfie.

3) Don’t do duckface. Like, ever.

4) If you’re both sexting and you HAVE to send some type of picture, DON’T put your face in the photo! You don’t want to end up on my blog when she makes it public domain!

5) If you’ve been taking selfies in mirrors since middle school, chances are, it’s too late for you, my friend.  You were raised on mirror douchebag selfies and you’re probably never going to change.  Therefore, if you MUST commit the mirror sin, do it like a champ:

Your Mona Lisa smirk, combined with total outright ridiculousness  saved you from being a douche. Congrats my friend.

Your Mona Lisa smirk, combined with total outright ridiculousness saved you from being a douche. Congrats.

 

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: There are exceptions to every rule. Can you think of some mirror selfie exceptions?

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2 comments

  1. This is fucking hilarious. But I disagree with number 2. I know plenty of people that take all of their selfies with funny faces…therefore still a douche.

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